Resolute

Good evening friends,

I am back in the hospital now to start my Stem Cell Transplant. I can't say it feels like home here, but it does feel familiar. Same bad bed. Same bad recliner, same cold pleather loveseat as my previous rooms here. This will be home for the next thee weeks or more (depending on how I do), followed by a couple more weeks in town for observation. It definitely beats the creature comforts of a space capsule, a jail cell, or a submarine berth. But all the same, I would rather be sleeping in my own bed with my own wife. ("As opposed to other men's wives?" you ask. Well of course! My own wife is WAY better looking!) But I digress...

This morning, I opened at random in The Message Bible to Luke 9:51:

When it came close to the time for his Ascension, he gathered up his courage and steeled himself for the journey to Jerusalem.

The NIV translates the same passage,

As the time approached for him to be taken to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem."

I am reminded of Paul resolutely setting his face towards Jerusalem. Multiple times, friends tried to dissuade him by telling him of danger awaiting there. In response, he ever so politely tells them to shove off, as he is quite determined. Acts 20:22-24 gives on such conversation with loved ones:

"And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."

This word Resolute came up again today in a different form, when my sweet mother in law prayed that God would grant me a spirit of strength, RESOLVE, and peace throughout these treatments. Do you think maybe God is trying to tell me something? I had a good cry last night, because I REALLY didn't want to do this, but God brought peace. And backed it up this morning and again this afternoon by telling me to be Resolute. This journey, this season, is of Him. My wife came with me to the hospital, but it was a hard goodbye. In my loneliness, I opened my Message Bible at random, and was staring at Jeremiah 45:

This is what Jeremiah told Baruch one day in the fourth year of Jehoiakim's reign as he was taking dictation from the prophet:

"These are the words of GOD, the God of Israel to you, Baruch. You say, 'These are bad times for me! It's one thing after another. God is piling on the pain. I'm worn out, and there is no end in sight.'

"But GOD says, 'Look around. What I've built I'm about to wreck, and what I've planted I'm about to rip up. And I'm doing it everywhere-- all over the whole earth! So forget about making any big plans for yourself. Things are going to get worse before they get better. But don't worry. I'll keep you alive though the whole business."

Maybe some of you are saying with Baruch, "These are bad times for me! It's one thing after another. God is piling on the pain. I'm worn out, and there's no end in sight..." I know I have certainly said that myself more than once, as I wallowed in my thoughts. Some might be quick to point out that "God is a miracle-working God!" and He IS! He truly is! But sometimes our God allows suffering in our lives, if it suits his purposes. His promise to believers isn't to deliver us from our suffering (although sometimes He chooses to do so.) No, his promise is to be WITH us though the suffering. To be the fourth man in the fire. (Daniel 3:24-25).

So for me, this hospital is my Jerusalem, my mission, the place God has for me. I don't know what difficulties actually await, but His promise is "to keep me alive through the whole business." Pray for me for strength, and courage, and that I will resolutely complete my mission.

And that I will recognize His hand, and His opportunities.

Be resolute to run the race that is set before you!