I have been home for nearly 24 hours, and some of you have been asking how it's going. This handy little movie clip explains it pretty well! I will be feeling good, great even! And then, it's like someone DARTS me, and suddenly I'm down. Suddenly, as in 15-20 SECONDS. And now I can't lift my head enough to point it at the TV. I am utterly immobile. This condition may last three minutes. Or three hours. There is absolutely no predicting it. And then, as though a light switch is thrown, I am better. Phenomenal even. As though it had never even happened.
Switches seem to be a theme for me right now. Either my lungs HURT, and I am coughing and weeping from the pain. Or... they don't. And I don't even feel them. They're just doing their job. And then this morning, I got hit by massive upper back pain. Giant pressure, like I imagine a heart attack, but just on my back, not my chest. I begged my wife for pain meds and jumped into a hot shower. And right as she arrived, the pain was gone. Like turning off a light switch. So all these transitions take place at lightning speed, with pretty much zero warning. It's annoying.
It also hurts my pride. Because I treasure my independence. I would like to be able to go somewhere. To drive myself to the store. Or to see a customer. But I can't. I would have a random episode, and would never make it off the road in time. And so I am here. In my chair. [Sigh.]
This morning, a young mom with a toddler and a newborn asked me how I was doing and what my recovery plan was. I told her I didn't have one. Because... I can't do anything but sit here. So the plan is to sit here. Read. Journal. Pray. Chat with friends. Just... BE for a while. (Incidentally, I am being waited on hand and foot, while she is about to lose her mind with everything demanding her immediate attention, and she is asking how I am doing?) Wow. It's like being fish-slapped!
This morning I shaved my head. I last did that Christmas morning. This simple act, shaving my head with a razor and shaving cream, took 3-5 minutes. But it took absolutely everything out of me for hours. I am feeling good at this precise moment, and am so grateful to God for my Bride, who loves me so much, and who is taking such incredible care of me. And I am thinking of a great quote I saw:
"We are not called to see through each other, but to see each other through."
Do you know someone who is struggling? Who is barely holding it together? (Or maybe they're not?) Don't just pray for them. Pitch in. Come clean their kitchen. Fold their laundry. Take their baby to the park so they can finally have sex and reconnect with their spouse. Make them a meal. Pitch in. Don't just talk about Jesus. BE Jesus to them. Like the chaplain who accidentally wandered into my Covid room, and STAYED.
See each other through.
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