December 25, 2021, Beaufort Memorial Hospital.
How I am feeling depends on my oxygen saturation at any given moment. Right now, I am resting quietly at 96% saturation and recovering from eating breakfast. Recovery from the energy required to eat a meal takes about an hour. But at 96%, I am quite comfortable. A trip to the toilet (very important!) drops my saturation to about 90-92%, and then things start happening. My lungs, nose, and throat start hurting and I start coughing. If I give in at this at this point and allow myself to get agitated instead of consciously taking deep breaths, then my oxygen will drop to about 82-85% and I will TOTALLY LOSE IT emotionally, weeping out of control. "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!!" But then at that moment, if I lie prone, absolutely flat on my stomach and breathe slowly and deeply through my nose, then my oxygen will go up to 97% again in about three minutes, and all is well...
This morning, I was having Quiet Time, and God brought to mind the Amy Grant Christmas song Breath of Heaven. This song never really moved me in the past, but I Googled the lyrics anyway. I mean, God brought it up, right? I got to the chorus, and blinked hard.
Breath of Heaven, Hold me together...
I was NOT holding it together. I am still not. But I AM improving physically. I want to be home with my wife. But I have to get better first. And that is NOT going to happen if I go home too soon.
Bottom line? All is well.
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