I have been ruminating lately on Bathsheba and her family relationships after her second marriage. 2 Samuel 11:26-27 tells us:
"When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. After the time of her mourning was over, David had her brought to his house and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the LORD..."
We usually focus on David in this story, and that's a big lesson to be sure, but do we care about Bathsheba and her hardships? Modern Judaism observes Shivah, a 7 day period of mourning and Shoshim, a 30 day period of mourning. It is not recorded which one this was. However, I would venture that her heart was still in mourning for her lost husband when she was brought to David's home and quickly married to him. I personally don't let go of people easily. (It took me five years to get over the first woman I ever loved, but eventually I set her up with my best friend and they have been married for 23 years. God bless her and keep her...)
But what I am really wondering is, how did the other women treat her? David was already married to at least three women, and presumably had concubines as well. Six sons were already born to him in Hebron from six different women (2 Samuel 3:2-5). So here is the new girl, and she's pregnant with their husband's baby. And now SHE's married to him too. Goody.
So how did they react? Did they welcome her with love and compassion as a sister-wife? Or did they slut-shame her, leaving her alone to cope by herself with her grief and new pregnancy?
Some time ago, I was talking hypotheticals with a friend about marriage and pregnancy. I commented that I would have married my wife even if she had been carrying another man's baby. (She wasn't.) His response is that if he were in that situation, he would want her to have the baby first, before he married her. "Really??? Do you love her or not?" Love is shown not just in words and feelings, but in care for someone. I am thinking of Joseph, who took tender care of pregnant Mary, even though the baby wasn't his. There is NO WAY that I would want a woman I loved to go through pregnancy and childbirth and parenting a newborn alone. I couldn't do it.
Love is shown in serving someone. Do you know any single moms? Love on them. Serve them. Help with the kids. Do their laundry. Clean their kitchen. Learn their story. Bring them to church with you. And the same goes for married moms with little kids, and to military wives whose husbands are deployed. And really, to ALL parents of little kids. Be helpful. Be Jesus to them.
Maybe you're involved in sexual sin, and are at the spiritual "Now what?" stage. Does God still love me? Is my life over? Can God ever use me again? I really love what Micah 7:18 has to say:
Who is the god who can compare with you--
wiping the slate clean of guilt,
Turning a blind eye, a deaf ear,
to the past sins of your purged and precious people?
You don't nurse your anger
and don't stay angry long.
For mercy is your specialty.
That's what you love most.
Maybe you're living together but not married. There is an easy spiritual solution for that. How about make it official? My church, Praise Assembly in Beaufort South Carolina is doing a bunch of weddings on the last Sunday in February, for people just like you. People who love each other, but haven't gotten around to the ceremony. Many girls (most girls?) dream since childhood about having the "perfect" wedding. Some save items on Pinterest and plan their dream wedding in their head ad nauseum, sometimes without even being in a relationship! But really, the important part isn't the perfection of the wedding, it's the being together, committed as husband and wife. There is no need to spend a bundle on a fancy wedding. Call the church office at (843) 525-1121 to book it. They even have a photographer provided. Just do it already! https://www.lowcountrypraise.com/
As for David and Bathsheba, their first child died. That was absolutely brutal for them both. I have never lost a child, and I can't imagine that kind of pain. But there is a really beautiful postscript to their story, in 2 Samuel 12:24-25:
"Then David went and comforted his wife Bathsheba. And when he slept with her, they conceived a son. When he was born they named him Solomon. God had a special love for him, and sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah, "Beloved of the Lord."
David and Bathsheba went on to have other sons and daughters, and that boy, that "consolation pregnancy," grew up to become King Solomon. Go God!
So if you're stuck in sexual sin, you're life isn't over. Fix it and walk on. God has big plans for you, so don't quit now. If you're a single mom, and barely keeping it together, reach out to someone!
See what the faithful God will do!
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